Death (Winter)

My heart stops, my jaw drops. Why is this happening? It has to be a dream. When I called and was told this, this craziness this, we have to encounter at one time or another. It still makes you feel cold and feeling that thing can't be true. The light feels as if the breaker to our lives has popped as if too many things are plugged in. As if, we are overloading ourselves with our daily routines, and filling our world of things that we can't take with us. Why does it happen when the air gets colder and breathe is seen? I hate it that I had to see you in that bed. You didn't say a word yet I miss you talking all the time. You told me of your trips to the wilderness. How you made a fire and just listened. How you went on the lake and sat in your small floating vessel. How the fish swam and fell for an old trick and you brought it on bored and how later you cooked and ate it. Why did this have to happen now? Why didn't you get up from the bed as if you took a long nap? Why? Your children hate this cold this seemingly yearly thing. We will remember and we will cry, but we will never forget.

Sleep

Far behind in work oh work you’re not even to hard, yet you are. How can I make my time better? I sit here rocking in a rockingless chair. I sit here my neck in pain it can’t be popped. My sinus’ are all messed up this pill is useless. I don’t want to take another because I feel that I might sleep. OH, sleep last night you were elusive. Damn you, my body, I’m fat I feel like I’m not worthy to live, but I sit here thinking and working that if I wasn’t here. What would people be that I’ve impacted. Where would they be? Oh, silence I miss you; I want you, but only sleep is what I think about Oh will you let me be. Sleep.

Season

The weather has changed again, but the smell of this weather still lingers sugar beets from the mill. This change of weather always brings memories and images of the past. When family spent time together, and my youth was there and there was no care of the present. To think about the past is to dwell on something that cannot be changed but for life cannot be rearranged it can only be formed from the past, and the future can't yet be seen. Therefore, I must look forward to making my present my future and my future yet to come. I hate the past for the mind wanders to better days it seems but isn't today better? I mustn't think too hard for I will not travel there in physical form but yet my mind shouldn't forget. Ah, colors of the leaves change as the waves in a stream flowing beautifully down to the ground with the slight breeze. It's warmer than normal and the birds are confused as with the flies, they buzz annoyingly in my ear. No sticky tape to trap them from landing on me. Time has been sent back, back one hour changes the sleep of my mind. Rest, relax, dream has all been extended. 

Tasks

Tasked to write.

Tasked to read.

Tasked to bleed.

Tasked to see.

Tasked to be.

I for one have an issue.

With being tasked to do anything.

Yes you say I’m a writer, but

how can I write something I’m not ready for

what is meant by this is that I have word issue.

I cannot be clear and crisp like some.

I can’t be intriguing and creative like some.

I am just me being me.

And I for one know that I can be creative.

I just need to learn how to flow be more.

I just need to learn how not to be like you.

Nanowrimo is this Month

Nanowrimo is this month, so I decided that I would turn my 50page movie script into a 50, 000 word novel. 10,000 words done! Wahooo! Now for the other 40, 000.

IndyPlanet Digital

IndyPlanet Digital

Halloween

I haven’t blogged on here much because I have had thoughts of doubt and of failure. You might think by the title I will be talking about Halloween, but to your disappointment, I will not. I will be talking about my writing. Yes, I write more than for school and blogs. I write comic books. I write with grammar errors and structure issues. I write stories, but my issue is showing a story and not just telling. You might ask why I have trouble. Well, I don’t know, really I don’t know. Okay, I lied I do know I just have an issue with descriptions. Yep, I have stories in my head, but I have issues putting them in a detailed descriptive manner. So, my goal before the end of the year is to be more descriptive.