Death (Winter)

My heart stops, my jaw drops. Why is this happening? It has to be a dream. When I called and was told this, this craziness this, we have to encounter at one time or another. It still makes you feel cold and feeling that thing can't be true. The light feels as if the breaker to our lives has popped as if too many things are plugged in. As if, we are overloading ourselves with our daily routines, and filling our world of things that we can't take with us. Why does it happen when the air gets colder and breathe is seen? I hate it that I had to see you in that bed. You didn't say a word yet I miss you talking all the time. You told me of your trips to the wilderness. How you made a fire and just listened. How you went on the lake and sat in your small floating vessel. How the fish swam and fell for an old trick and you brought it on bored and how later you cooked and ate it. Why did this have to happen now? Why didn't you get up from the bed as if you took a long nap? Why? Your children hate this cold this seemingly yearly thing. We will remember and we will cry, but we will never forget.